Why My AirPods Think They’re Better Than Me

 

by Blavk Ize – street poet, tech victim, silent hustler

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Let’s get one thing straight…
I paid for the AirPods.
But somehow, they think they own me.

First of all, they don’t even stay in my ears. They just… jump out.
Like “Nah fam, this conversation ain’t for me.”
They’ll fall on the floor like they disgusted to be in my presence.

And don’t let me try to talk on the phone.
Suddenly, my right AirPod wanna play DJ while the left one pretends to be on vacation.
"Connected" they say.
But it’s just me shouting “Hello? You hear me? Helloooo—”
Meanwhile, both AirPods chilling like:

🎧 “This ain’t our fight.”

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They judge me.

The worst part? They know what I’m listening to.
They know I went from drill music to a sad Juice WRLD love song in 5 seconds.
They know I replayed that one heartbreak song 32 times.
They heard me say “I’m done with her fr this time”… then call her again at 2:47AM.

They whisper shade into my ears. I can hear it.
Tiny voices like:

“He listening to that song again? Tragic.”
“Bro got ‘Grind Alone’ in a playlist next to ‘Love of My Life.’ Make it make sense.”

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They disappear like my ex

I put them in the case. The case is in my bag.
The bag is in my room.
And somehow… one AirPod is missing.

I don’t even live with people.
It’s just me and God in here.
But that AirPod gone like it’s running from child support.

At this point I think they teleport.
Or worse—my AirPods joined a cult and left me behind.

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Final thoughts:

All I’m saying is…
If these little white demons are gonna act like they’re better than me,
they should at least pay rent.
Or write a verse.
Or call her back for me.

Until then…
I’m back to using wired earphones like it’s 2014.

And guess what?
They never left me.